I was talking with my son about his retirement, which is probably 15 to 20 years away. This got me thinking about my own future and my remaining years. At this point, I’m looking at quality, not quantity. I turned 84 this month. While another 10 years would be great, I’d be OK with less. So, I again asked the question underlying this 70andOlder blog, “How do I understand this time of life? Is my life as good as it could be? Are there some things I could do to make it even more enjoyable and satisfying?”
After discussing this with my “self-improvement-junkie” daughter — her self-title, not mine — she suggested I answer the questions two ways. First, “Yes, my life is as good as it can be, and what does that suggest?” Second, “No, my life is not as good as it can be, and what does that suggest?”
The fact that I’m asking these questions says that my life is really cooking along quite well. I like everything I do, and my relationship with my partner Penni continues to grow richer. But thinking about this made me realize that I like sprinkling in some bigger events to look forward to.
In December this year, Penni and I are going to my mother-in-law’s hundredth — she still drives — birthday celebrations in Mansfield, Ohio. In June 2024, my grandson and I are spending two weeks in France and Italy. These trips and others got me thinking about visiting Australia. Penni and I are now considering a two or three-week visit to Sydney in November 2024. We have also planned several driving trips of a few days to a few weeks, one to Banff and Lake Louise via my family in Wenatchee, WA, and friends in Bend, OR.
Is family, travel, writing, volunteering, friends, and hobbies as good as it gets? I think so. Not too bad. Lucky me. Big smile.
This led to more navel-gazing and two more thoughts; structure, and being busy.
Structure Gives Freedom
I like the structure of my week. It’s the gym, early on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday mornings, school volunteering on Tuesday and Thursday mornings, and family on Sunday. That structure leaves plenty of time for other activities, with the confidence that the basics are on autopilot, taken care of with no thought. Just show up.
When I was at Sydney University Architecture School, we had two back-to-back design projects. The first was a pleasure palace with no budget restraints on a tropical island with a perfect climate. With no purpose beyond pleasure and no boundaries, almost every student’s project was a disaster. Immediately following was a multifunction downtown high-rise structure with severe building code restrictions. Almost all student’s solutions were excellent. These paired projects were an early lesson that structure gives freedom. If life’s basics are taken care of, you have the freedom to be what you can be and to follow your impulses.
I like Being Busy
I don’t know what it is about being busy that I enjoy, but I do. I’m in our local library’s book club. Many members seem to have a lot of time for reading. Not me. For me, reading is a filler between other things, that for some strange reason I think are more significant. Yesterday I bought a beautiful mid-Victorian pendulum wall clock from Next Door and spent the afternoon getting it in working order. That had no more meaning than reading a library book, but for me, it was “doing something”. 
I can spend hours decorating my wheel-turned ceramics. They recently took a new direction, with pierced work. I enjoy being busy.
Does being busy give my life purpose, saying I’m still useful? Might structure and activity be magically postponing my end — where there will be no structure, no purpose, no activity? I don’t know what’s down there in my personal, deep motivation land, but I can say with high certainty that I am a very happy camper, doing what truly makes me feel good.
PS: A Question
I’d guess many of you ask a similar question about your lives, “Is this as good as it can be?” How do you answer? What do you do? Please let me know. I am one Curious George.
Thank you for reading.
Barry
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