Seeking Understanding in 2021
With so much at stake in our world today, I ask myself, why do we focus on our differences, rather than the vast terrain of commonalities? We know it’s tribalism, so why are we stuck in it?
Tribal Animals
We are each members of our chosen, or inherited, tribes. The left and the right are each tribes, with special beliefs. While the left fears climate change, inequity, inequality, and authoritarianism, the right fears liberalizing social change, and feels disillusioned. Each side believes the other threatens democracy. The right seems more skilled at strategy, the left at policy. Though the gap feels large, our similarities are larger.
The increasing divisiveness of our tribalism has starkly identified some uncomfortable realities — we might not wish to see when we look in the mirror.
- When you accept the beliefs of your tribe, you commit to maintaining them.
- If we identify with an ideological or political group, we learn to dismiss the criticisms of others.
- Trying to change a member’s convictions is asking them to abandon their tribe. That’s unlikely to happen.
We Are On The Same Ship
This week, in the gym, a member was railing at me about “those idiots who aren’t getting vaccinations and don’t believe in science.” I thought about tribalism and how he and I are members of our particular tribe, with its particular beliefs and particular stereotypes about the other side. Just then, another member of the club, whom I happen to know is a member of “the other side”, walked by smiling. I thought how crazy this was as all three of us had just finished working out, something we all enjoyed. We are people, three humans with so much in common, each looking forward to our day — and yet so separated by the current polarization of tribalism.
Here Are Some One-Liners I’ve gleaned from the last six months:
- Neither side understands why people join the other side.
- Journalists limit our understanding, by saying what people do, without explaining why.
- Most group members believe they are working to improve the world.
- Most January 6 ‘rioters’ believed they were supporting the president and the nation.
- The pandemic and its isolation increased stress, loneliness, and paranoia.
- Loneliness brings anger and retaliation at those who (you believe) caused your misery.
- Some people join a group to express their frustration and anger with society.
- Many alt-right/left leaders are deeply lonely, finding meaning and identity in the group.
- Our Republic form of government, and our “I’m for me” culture, encourages issue separation and divisiveness.
- Skillful fighting includes deception, deflection, denial, attack. Lying is a battle tactic.
- Proclaiming my group’s beliefs shows my identity, says who I am, says, “I exist.”
- Proclaiming my group’s beliefs does not necessarily mean I think they are “true”, or that I would defend them in court.
How Is It For You?
I’m curious if you have learned some interesting insights, lessons, or truths this year, about yourself, or your tribe, or “those others”.
Please let me know.
Thank you,
Barry
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