This blog wraps up some loose ends but also holds me accountable for straying from this blog’s originally stated mission, to be about life 70 and older.
1. Comments
My last blog invited your comments on how our combative American culture has affected you personally. Two readers responded. Thank you!
Claire C ….. As Americans, I believe we are an angry bigoted culture. Raised middle class, I learned that individuals must act in their own best interest, behaving with “rugged individualism”. If you are fortunate enough to be cared for by empathetic folks, you may learn to be generous and loving. The American way is competitive and materialistic, so it is difficult to retain a balanced mindset. Children grow up very conflicted about how to succeed here.
Nancy S ….. I’m not much affected by the world or politics. My life is here in my home, a very pleasant and rewarding place. I’ve have felt for a long time that politicians are crooked, or once they get voted in, have to PLAY THE GAME, you scratch my back, I’ll scratch yours. They lack integrity, honesty, and common sense. I ignore it, feeling as though there is nothing to be done about it. The things Trump said and got away with are perfect examples of how extreme it’s gotten.
I’d hoped for more comments. As a beginner blogger, I don’t yet understand what makes blogs engaging enough to inspire comments. I’d really appreciate your thoughts and suggestions.
2. Blog mission changes
These blogs drifted away from their originally stated focus of personal thoughts and feelings about aging. It headed to political and social commentary. Why?
Perhaps it’s one way I can feel useful and productive — and, making social commentary is safer than discussing my feelings. I thought my 80 years, and immigrant status gave me permission to comment on our culture and system. I suspect I was wrong and right. There is already plenty of social commentary without my additions, AND each of us needs a place for self-expression. Moving forward I plan to lean back towards age-related reflections. But I enjoy social comment, so may mix it up. We shall see what happens.
3. Intimacy
I started this blog site in 2019, intending to wrap up some loose ends of my life, looking into those little corners I’ve avoided. I’d guessed that poking through my accumulated baggage would bring more self-awareness, and a chance to look freshly at my biggie, intimacy — or lack thereof. I was right. Writing down my thoughts and feeling has helped me weather the miseries of the pandemic stay-at-home, and led to greater intimacy.
On the intimacy front, I’m learning;
- To listen, without starting to think of what I’m going to say next.
- To be comfortable with silence — while we both think about what one just said.
- To be more in the present moment, without letting imagined futures — that are usually negative — get in the way of now.
- To really enjoy the warm feeling of closeness that comes along with this.
- That intimacy and fun are truly enjoyable partners — might I say thrilling?
I’m Curious George. Is there some special way you think about or experience intimacy? Please jot down a thought and drop it into the Comments box below. Thanks.
4. Blaming
Before realizing I should shift this blog back to my experience of aging, I’d thought this blog posting would be about that All-American pastime, blaming. It’s an essential — and to me very aggravating — part of our national tribalized wargames. Sadly, in a blaming culture, when something goes wrong, it’s impossible to find the system’s root cause, because people are afraid to speak out for fear of reprisal.
To understand how blaming makes sense, I keep in mind that in our polarized political environment, where “winning” dominates, that solving real-world problems is irrelevant. It’s all about denying the other side a win. Perhaps I’ll say more about the causes and dysfunctions of blaming at some future date — or another forum. Maybe 70andOlder is simply the wrong place for social musings. Is there a middle ground?
5. Vaccinated!
Lastly, I’m recovering from the second “booster” COVID-19 vaccine shot Friday. I’m happy for a strong immune response (temperature Saturday was 101.7°F, Sunday 101.1, today 100.1), but also I’m very tired. So, now, back to bed!
As always, thank you.
me, Barry Phegan
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