This is part 2 of some simple practices and truths that help me cope in our Culture of Anxiety. To keep the postings short, the list was divided into two parts.
Part 1 was
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- Change is constant, too much is stressful.
- I am a real animal, not an idealized being.
- We are irrelevant to the world.
- Stop blaming.
- Nobody’s Stupid! Seeing people as people, not as enemies, or as “stupid”, reduces my anxiety. It’s not always easy, but I try to see the other’s view — though not necessarily accept it. We each have solid reasons (from our point of view) to do what we do. I can accept your right to have an opinion, but not your right to force your opinion on me.
Unfortunately, when one tribe in our divided nation sees politics only as war, lying for them is a normal battle tactic. But when leaders lie, they set the stage for national distrust, violence, and worse. That’s where we are. It’s scary but not necessarily panicky.
- Don’t “Should”. I’m less stressed when I don’t argue. Traditional American “discussions” usually begin and end with the last step of good decisions, i.e. arguing about an action or solution, “I think we should . . . .” Arguing or fighting over solutions may be comfortable, and bring a familiar adrenaline rush, but it’s the back end of any decision process, and it’s almost always far too simple-minded to be realistic.
Much better to start at the beginning of the decision process, sharing your understanding of the situation or the problem, and listening as others share theirs. Then, with that collective picture of the problem in mind, toss around possible actions, “We might . . . .” This may not be such “fun”, but it’s definitely less stressful.
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Turn off the TV. Just because the media profits from attention-grabbing panics-of-the-week, does not mean I bite on their hooks. I am engaged but not anxious. The information firehose — that’s now instantaneous and global — is far beyond human capacity to grasp. It’s automatic anxiety. Turn off the MAGAphone.
Try not to feel guilty for events way beyond your control. Let go. Don’t be a pawn of the media. Stop doomscrolling.
There are some alternative, “Happy News” sites. They don’t come with the thrum of the drummer boy marching off to war, and they aren’t about what our current culture tells us are “important issues of grave concern that every serious, thoughtful adult should be anxious about.” (Not!) Here’s a link https://www.makeuseof.com/tag/need-some-good-news-for-a-change-top-5-good-news-web-sites/
- Don’t worry about your grandchildren’s world. First, you won’t be here, and second, they’ll adapt, as each generation has since we descended from the trees. Our species has seen global changes way beyond today’s events — civilization itself, domestication of wild animals, farming, empires rising and falling, the plague, science, industrialization, and world wars.
Relative to such past transitions, Climate Change is no biggie. What’s so stressful is the industrial speed of today’s change magnified by intense media shout-outs. We know we treat the earth as a dump, but we don’t need media listing our every tossed item. We know the earth is responding to our dumping, but we don’t need media listing its latest reaction. Enough already media. Stop it! And for each of us a deep breath. Relax.
“Everything Happens So Much” Twitter
Our current Culture of Anxiety comes to us unintentionally from the accelerating pace of our industrial consumer society, and intentionally from those powerful political and business interests that profit from goading our fears.When I remember to use the above thoughts and practices, they lower my anxiety and stress. I’m trusting that means a healthier, happier, and longer life. It’s working so far. Yeh!.
How about you? How do you build your personal haven? I’d like to publish your ideas. Please pass them along.
Thank you.
May peace be yours,
Barry
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